Meeting your future partner online is…like, so romantic, right?
Flicking through the sea of strangers faces and you actually find one that isn’t a massive D Bag. If you’ve tried online dating some of these thoughts may have run through your head too..
There is something about this one is it the sparkle in his eye or is that just the filter? Ooooh, those eyes…OMFG it is him, finally, after all of this time it is the future Mr Me. Now, the perfect line to open with…hmm… come on Freeda you’ve got this shit.
Sent! Done. Now, how long will it take for him to respond? Time to check my profile is up to date, whoa, what was I FKN thinking with the picture with that cat?! delete delete delete, hurry up fuck you DELETE!
Ding Ding – A MESSAGE – FUCK YEAH!
Well his grammar and spelling are correct. It’s a great start! We’ve mutually gotten to know each other and I’ve staked his Facebook page to make sure there isn’t anything out of place, I think its time we meet up for a date!
This can go three ways…
Date No. 1
BAM! I feel like I’ve been hit by a brick wall, that’s not him is it? He looks nothing like his pictures! I think I’ve been fucking cat fished, why the hell isn’t there a law against Photoshop by now! Don’t judge a book by its cover Freeda.. I was meant to have a date with Ryan Gosling but Mr Bean has shown up. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, try and connect with this guy, you never know right?
Aaand we don’t click. Weirdo alert. I cant believe i’m leaving from another date wondering when ill find the one for me. Did I pass him when i was swiping my phone carelessly one day? or maybe I haven’t swiped enough yet. Yeah, online dating is so romantic huh?
Real life online dating horror stories:
“I met a girl who described herself as a 24-year old woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realised that the girl who sat was a 40-year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house” (Via People).
“As soon as I arrived at the meeting place, the guy sent me a text. Apparently, he had been standing across the street so that he could check me out from afar. Well, he didn’t like what he saw, and sent me the equivalent of “you are one ugly chick! Just go home’” (Via The Awl).
“He wore a pink polo shirt (collar popped) and worked in finance. He talked with prime rib in his mouth and told me he could use some “BJ action”. That was that” (Via The Awl).
Date No. 2
Okay I can see him and its not Mr Bean again. Phew. That’s a better start. Hes actually hot af. there’s no Photoshop with this one. I would be happy waking up to this face everyday, this could work! sure he’s got a little bit of an ego but I would too with a face like that. I think this could be the one, this is going fantastic! He says he will text me back when the dates over. I’m in!
…. Its been a week and still no text, nothing! he wont even reply to me… Rude right? my dating app just keeps staring at me, make him message me! OMG a text finally! “I had a great time the other night but…” he’s not interested. But he was almost perfect! we clicked! I chose him! arghh i guess I just wasn’t right for the picking. Well that’s just swell. Fuck you online dating, I specifically asked for non D bags in my Bio.
Real Life Online Dating Horror Stories:
“We met online, and he seemed cool and funny. We went out a few times. A few weeks in, he told me I was almost perfect, except my upper arms were fat. I think he meant it as a compliment” (Via People).
“I was dating this guy who I met online that seemed really cool, until later on I found out about his four secret kids and his massive coke addiction” (Via The Awl).
“eHarmony matched me with my ex-husband…after we were divorced” (Via People).
Date No. 3
Come on online dating please provide me with the goods. There has to be a non Mr bean looking, down to earth type fellow for me somewhere. Start off slow and steady…. Well this ones cute, hes polite, charming and has the same interests as me, I actually think we click! Mr Right has come my way, finally! Hang on we definitely click! both of us, its mutual, it fits and it works.
I swiped just enough, I was the one in the sea of faces he felt the spark for, I was right for the picking. Thank you dating app! Finally, this shit works! online dating actually works!
Real life online dating success stories:
“Met my wife on a website for a band many many years ago. Moved to Sydney after meeting her in person and dating. Together 10 years before getting married about 3 weeks ago. Best thing I’ve ever done” (Via Gizmodo).
“My partner and I met on Plenty Of Fish about 2.5 years ago, today we have a beautiful 5 month old little girl, and we refer to ourselves as a forever family. Online dating does occasionally work out really well” (Via Gizmodo).
“I met this girl on DeviantArt as she did cool art from One Piece and did cosplay from One Piece. She was from the UK and living in Australia I never thought anything would happen. So far it’s been just over a year and I went and met her for the first time in May. I used to always spite meeting online and long distance relationships haha well look at me now!” (Via Gizmodo).
Online dating can go many ways really but most of us have experienced at least one of these three ways. Dating in general is tricky but there’s something unique about online dating that gives you the option to pick and choose your ideal partner through a screen. Whether this is a good thing or bad thing for you depends on your experiences, though this day and age most of us resort to finding ‘The One’ online. Good luck!