Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Feeling insecure about interactions at work, worried about my job, do you fake it?

So I've always been quite an honest person, and it has seemed to work positively in my work spaces. In someways people feel more comfortable talking to me because of it and I openly discuss things I'm unhappy with but with a purpose of improvement or sharing it to better understand it with collegues. Previously I have been considered 'passionate/giving a crap' would be the word. This year we have a new boss, and he's quite different. I would say quite authoritarian, but to be honest I don't know because I never see him! So recently after 5months, I walked into a discussion and on prompting from him, mentioned to him problems felt(there is a lot of, pent up frustration because of changes he made and them being brought in very inefficiently and basically disruptive and time consuming to pretty much everyone in ways that aren't covered by pay. Now I didn't say that! but I raised a few questions and suggestions about transitions). Basically now I am thinking I probably shouldn't have. He was saying it's good to hear feedback but I didn't really feel like he gave a crap and he was side stepping everything I said which in my opinion was just stupid since everyeone is so annoyed... it's such a farcry from any other boss we've had before. In hindsight I think he's just interested in his own advancement, he's like a dictator and that' s just the way it is going to be. we're going to be greatly inconvenienced for a long time.. I actually have lost sleep about it, wondering if I will have a job for much longer and if he likes me?! I feel like a 12 year old and I'm wondering if I should be in future upbeat and fake , avoid such conversations since they are really not in my realm to make a difference anyway. Does anyone do this/advice??

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (3)

I’m like you. But in the workforce sometimes I think you need to ‘adopt’ learn there are different approaches. So I’m not telling you to lie or be fake. But maybe hold your opinions back unless they are asked for? And if you feel like you really need to get something off your chest, go to a higher manager, or someone else that could have a position of power and not make you feel undermined.
I’ve had a similar boss and I didn’t say much to him. I didn’t Change who I was. But it made work just being about doing my job and he appreciated that (and people knew I was down to earth and who the power player was!)
I wonder if we work/have worked for the same person ;)

 Thank you. I think you're right. I was actually told bya co worker(possibly you hehe) who is above me that this is what's she does as she's realised that's who he is. Im kicking myself as I should have just held my tongue and followed her lead rather than try assess him myself. I definitely think i need to try not care about these things outwardly, which is hard when they are effectively making your life really difficult- though it is a smart solution to vent to another as you say. Thanks for your time!
helpful (1) 
 Yes like I said don’t change who you are but it might be easier finding someone else to vent to.
Goodluck! X

helpful (1) 

You gotta be careful with your feedback I reckon - sometimes it’s a trap haha.

Don’t be fake but emotional intelligence is key in the workplace. Help your boss, try to empathise with them. Be a team player, be strategic.

its really hard to judge without knowning more about what was said.