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Advice in regards to parental responsibility?

My ex is refusing to see the kids and would use the excuse of him being a fifo worker and don’t have the time for it. Apparently he pays 100% child support and don’t have the responsibility to care for them.. Also blamed me for moving away and not being able to put up with him. In his words he said, ‘you chose to be a single mum so do everything on your own and you can’t just dump the kids on me when you want to’

I just don’t know where i stand.. my eldest has been asking for his father but he wouldn’t even come to terms with me in regards to parenting plan.. I wouldnt want his child support if he tales the initiative to care for the kids even once every 6months but apparently it’s so hard for him to do it because of his career.

Has anyone been on d same boat?
I’m thinking of filing a parenting order but not sure where to start.

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Answers (6)

Yes I have been in this situation. He had them every second school holidays and I got a text message once saying "I do you a favour by taking the kids so you can have a break" 😂😮. Meanwhile there are Dads out there selling everything they have to see their kids on a regular basis and then theres dip shits like our exes that still think they're babysitting. You can't force him to be a better Dad unfortunately but you can still go through with mediation and then a parenting plan. At least then its in place if he ever does want to step up. Start with mediation and if he doesn't show you end up with a document to take to court where you can make your parenting order legal. If he does show up to mediation hopefully they help him realise he needs to start putting his kids before his spitefulness.

OP I hate how he puts all the blame on me for leaving when i was in a emotionally abusive relationship for 8 freaking years.. And the time i bumped my head and realized i can’t take it anymore, he tells me it’s my fault and that i put this on me. Hmmm.. a**hole
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If he doesn't want to see his own kids they're better off without him. Get full custody.

OP It’s hard to even start a convo like this to a 6 year old.
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 You are right. What a shitty situation.
Maybe one of his mates or relatives can tell him to pull his f ucking head in.

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Answered by OP

I also am working a fulltime job. And whatever i earn is more than the child support he pays..

If you file parenting orders he can still decline to have any contact as my ex just did to me. You can force him to have contact or shared care

 Sorry I meant you can’t force him.
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OP Hi, did you have to go to courts for this? Im starting to look for a good law firm who could help me out.. i just hate the fact that he thinks as long as he pays child support he doesnt need to be a parent anymore
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 OP Of this comment. Yes went to court and like the judge said you can’t force him and the judge let him sign away his visitation and everything. BUT he isn’t allowed to relinquish responsibility and also remember the child holds all the rights according to law. Not you or dad. I’m in Qld but the family law act is federal. If you’re on the Gold Coast I can recommend someone.

If he isn’t hassling you and is paying. Save yourself the stress. While I know it is so HARD and heartbreaking for kids as they don’t get it. One day they will.

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If he isn’t interested in seeing his kids and you make enough to support your family maybe you should think about going full custody without him having any rights. I would make a show about trying to get him involved for the courts. Honestly I would worry about your kids and the effect being constantly rejected by their dad would have on their mental wellbeing.

If he doesn’t want to see them it’s his loss. If it’s just logistics than that can be worked on but if he doesn’t want to see them ever then i wouldn’t want to force the kids to deal with that situation.