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My ex girlfriend initiated sex while I was asleep, what is this?

So at the time, my then-girlfriend had just gotten back from college. I was big on making her climax (sorry if tmi) but that night she told me it wasn't gonna happen, which I accepted and we just had sex. When we finished I thought we both went to sleep. I did, and she didn't. I woke up with her hands stroking me as she got onto me and started riding me. I was groggy and confused and I didn't really want to have sex again but she was engaged so I participated. Again, she had said that she wasn't going to orgasm that night, so I didn't try to get her too this time. The next morning before she had to go back to college she was really shitty with me about not making her orgasm, saying I forgot about her. I apologised profusely and said I never would've "neglected" her if she hadn't said that she wouldn't orgasm, but she was mad for a few days. I was so concerned with that that I hadn't thought about her initiating sex with me while I was asleep. Is this rape, or at least sexual assault?

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Answers (7)

😂😂😂 this has got to be a troll comment - but good on you pointing out the hipocricy of females 👍 love the point you’re making (even if it’s subliminally) 😂

 Hypocrisy
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 Waddaya mean?
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 Yep, pretty sure there is a post on here the sane but roles reversed and everyone was on the its assault/rape wagon.
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 So far only one person seems to think it's acceptable!
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What were you wearing? Had you been having consensual sex earlier? Had you been drinking? Why did you stay in the bed? Did you scream? Did you say no? Did you try to escape? Is she stronger than you? Why didn't you report it immediately? Are you just bringing it up now because she dumped you? Is this revenge from a scorned man? What is your agenda? Why did you apologise? Did her lack of orgasm hurt your ego and now you want to get back at her?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

 ^Exactly this. Only this. All of this.
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If you didn't consent and when you were aware you still didn't consent, yes.
If you woke up and realised what was happening and went with the flow, got into it etc, no.

 Well I was inside her when I woke up, I didn't consent to any of what she did while I was asleep. When I woke up to her riding me it was like 3 a.m., like an hour after we initially had sex and I was tired and I only consented after she was already having sex with me and I just wanted to get it over with at that point.
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 This sounds like bullshit ^
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 Yep, but troll. But did say here 'I consented'.
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I’ve done this to my partner. He loves waking up to me sucking on his hard on

 But this is an agreement the two of you have. He wants you to. The moment he says no, you must stop. The moment he says he doesn’t want you waking him up sucking him off, you stop. If you don’t, you’re assaulting him.
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 OP was my n a consenting sexual relationship and didn’t tell her “no” or try to make her stop either so, not assault.
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 *in a*
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 You can be in a consenting sexual relationship. But that doesn’t mean you can have sex whenever you like. But..... OP did say he participated, and even if he was reluctant I think he gave consent so it wasn’t assault. She does sound very selfish though, getting upset because he didnt make her orgasm. And he sounds like he should get some self respect too. He’s apologising for what esxcatly.
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 The point that he was in a consenting sexual relationship was that he was not passed out at a party or woke up to some random. He was in a relationship where sex sometimes happens. I would punch my DH in the head if he woke me up to have a conversation about whether we could do the dirty every time he came to bed late and horny or woke up with a hard on! I think the OP is just stressed that he couldn’t make her cum and is wanting a reason to lash out.
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 ^ Well, you would give your consent through your response wouldn’t you. Like, you’d either push him away or rub his dick 🤷‍♂️.

I don’t get your point about a relationship though. Sex sometimes happens yes. But it’s should ONLY happen if consent from both parties is given. Whether you get it from your partner or some random at a party,

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 I've woke up before my hubby trying to get on me. I'm like dude WTF I'm asleep, go away. And he's been like sorry sorry you were making purring noises I thought you were into it. No man I want sleep! And he's stopped.
I've woken up to him touching my bits and I've been kind yeah I'm into this let's do it, and we have. (and vice versa with me initiating it while he's asleep and he's said hell yes or not really tonight).
If the other party says no or isn't interested
it doesn't go ahead. That's how consent works.
We can snuggle and go back to sleep and not angrily force ourselves on the other one anyway. Some people are just selfish and sick in the head

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If you didn’t want sex, and she ignored you and continued anyway, then it’s assault. No two ways about it.

Why the heck are you posting on a sahm forum. You are obviously a troll pushing an agenda rather than asking a genuine question. Go start your own website or something if you want to start shit. So sick of people who use whatever medium they can to make a shitty point. Go start your crap elsewhere and leave this forum for genuine people who have genuine questions.

 Maybe they are stay at home dad.
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 Also this website is for people living on one income. I work, my hubby stays home, but I like to come here to read tips and use spreadsheets. If he came on here to ask a question I'm sure people like you would have a go at him for being on a sahm site
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 ^^^Absolutely not. Stay at home Mum, Dad, Working Mum, Dad, grandparent, whatever is not the point. My comment was not about where people are at in their life, it was about people coming on here and starting crap and pushing their stupid agendas. If you read my comment, I said leave this forum for people with genuine questions.
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